What frightens me about SkinnyTok is that in 2003, if GLP-1 medications had been available back then, I would have crawled over broken glass back then to get a prescription. In 2002, I had been prescribed psychiatric medications for a bipolar episode, and as a result, I gained a lot of weight due to a sluggish metabolism and emotional eating cravings.  Now I have made peace with my weight, and if anything,  I want to lift heavy in the gym to get a muscle mommy physique. I am really happy that Kimmortal recently released a song called “SWOLETARiAN” celebrating heavy lifting. At least we have over a decade of history of women being encouraged to lift heavy to help us fight the new oppression of heroin chic.

I started my day doing the 5 minute warmup, Caroline Girvan's 10 Min BRACED CORE AND ABS workout, and EPIC Heat Day 2, which focuses on the shoulders. I feel that my core has weakened since my gallbladder surgery in 2016 - I used to be able to do plough pose easily, but not anymore. I'm not terribly interested in visible abs, although a flat belly would be nice. But I like the challenge of Caroline's abs workouts, and I think core work is important for posture and back health. I definitely find it easier to engage my abs during other exercises after doing a core-focused workout. I tried a couple of time to do the shoulder workout with 5 lb weights, but 2 lb weights were hard enough. The movements themselves were easy.

I did 20 minutes of vocal riyaz. Today I played threes on the finger cymbals for five minutes while performing different arm and leg positions, and managed to toss in a few hip circles in the process. I played maqsoum and malfuf on riq for five minutes each from memory, which is progress from before. I practiced the C major scale on harmonica for five minutes - I'm hoping to progress to playing the chromatic scale, and then play tunes reading tabs. I practiced the first body percussion routine from Salvo Russo's playlist from memory three times.

I started studying Class 3 in Guru Pali Chandra's YouTube kathak lessons, Padhant - How to say the bols (recitation). This class is about reciting the rhythm syllables while dancing. I'm familiar with the basic teentaal rhythm cycle she began with, because I've learned it at the beginning of my studies in Hindustani classical voice. Next time I'm going to do the kathak warmup I've devised first before practicing with the lessons, so that I can do the footwork fast enough while following along. 

I was feeling tired, so I didn't practice any of the piano exercises. My knees were feeling sore, so I did Ashley Lopez's “Knee Stabilization - Mat Exercises.”

I've discovered a new thing on YouTube, videos of kathak dancers minus their upper bodies performing percussive footwork with ankle-bells to popular Indian songs. I told Anjalica Solomon about this when we were having our second song poetry course. The theme of this week was grief. I talked about how although I know Tori Amos's “Spark” is about her miscarriages, it resonates with me as a song grieving the death of a homeland due to ecocide and climate change. During class I wrote one song about grief and came up with a song idea for the object writing exercise from Pat Pattison's “Write Better Lyrics.”

Today has been an exhausting day. I practiced the second tutorial from Salvo Russo's body percussion playlist, “Rock - Pop - Funky”. It was challenging, but I think I'm learning how to actually snap my fingers. I did the kathak warmup, two physio exercises, and “Maya, Jewel, and Arcs”, completing Week 2 of the second month of the Datura Style Focus program - I noticed details in Rachel Brice's video that I hadn't picked up before, such as how to transition the foot placement while doing the Arc. I practiced the malfuf rhythm on riq for five minutes. I practiced the 3-5-1-3 pattern (mostly) correctly on zils for five minutes. I practiced the C major scale on harmonica for five minutes. I chopped a bunch of aromatics and vegetables for Ma's cooking.

I had a good teacher training class with Neeraja Aptikar. She gave some information and raga examples of the last four thaats in Hindustani music, Poorvi, Asavari, Bhairavi, and Tori. She talked about how Hindustani ragas have to have a minimum of five notes, including Sa and at least Ma or Pa, and how ragas by definition must evoke feelings. She talked about how raga names derive from place and season.

I practiced singing the solfege scale up and down starting on low C, D, E, F, G, A, and B, and on middle C, D, and E flat - I tried going up to E natural, but my voice cracked on the high E. I practiced the solfege tonic triad with Do Mi Sol and hand signals in C and D. I practiced five note scales on the piano and technique exercises in D major. I tried improvising on the mini blues scale over shell voicings in a blues progression in C.

I was planning to start Rachel Brice's “Rib Up Study” today, but didn't feel up to it. I tried doing Heather Stants' “Dance Flow Yoga: Spiral & Fly” from Datura Online before dinner. I had trouble doing a pose in the opening floor sequence. But I could do Fallen Triangle, which I couldn't do the last time I tried this class. I tried practicing the sequence on my own without looking at the screen. So I was able to do the first 30 minutes, but didn't feel up to the challenge of learning the standing sequence, which I had never worked on before.

I'm trying to exercise after each main meal of the day to regulate my blood sugar. Yesterday after lunch we went to Metrotown - and yes, I totally count mall walking as exercise, especially when carrying a bunch of toiletries from Walmart and several pounds of groceries from TnT. After dinner I did Rachel Brice's “Daily Dose: Arabic Shimmy #1”. It made sense why “Low Back Love” was included in Month 2, Week 1 of Datura Style Focus, because the yoga warmup worked the low back a lot. I've done this video a few times before - I'm not fond of it, but I'm improving. I tried to fake out the last drill by alternating the bodywaves with the three quarter shimmies, since doing them simultaneously was beyond my capabilities.

I still have trouble doing the body percussion routine with the music at the end of Salvo Russo's tutorial. I did four physio exercises and lower body foam rolling this morning, followed by the kathak warmup and “Daily Dose: Pinball #1”. My grasp of the shimmy drills is improving. Because of my knee sensitivities I have trouble doing even slight level changes. I practiced the flower and bird mudras.

I chopped an onion, garlic, and Chinese greens, and helped Ma on the ukelele. I did 35 minutes of vocal riyaz - I'm going to progress to the more difficult exercises in my notebook, some of which I have never tried on my own. I played harmonica for five minutes - for some reason I get a more distinct tone playing the B before high C than playing the B before middle C.

I played the pattern 3-5-1-3 on my zils for five minutes, but kept fumbling. I'm going to work on this further. I played malfuf with fills on riq for five minutes. I'm getting better at playing the different sounds in the correct order, but I still need to work on this rhythm.

I spent an hour finally finishing reading “Grant Writing for Dummies.” I was feeling tired, so I didn't get much of a piano practice done - I did practice five note scales, technique exercises in D major, blue shell voicings, solfege scales up and down in E, F, G, A, B,C, and D, and the solfege tonic triad in C and D.

After dinner I worked with Ashley Lopez's “Kick Butt”. It's an excellent no-impact Pilates strengthening routine for the legs, which is useful for those with knee sensitivities like myself. I intend to return to it in the future.

So, it's been a while since I updated my blog. I was taking online classes in Microsoft Word, Excel, and Outlook, and office administrative procedures and telephone skills five hours a day Monday, Wednesday, and Friday over August and September. I got my office admin certificate from the school with excellent grades.  

I learned that I need a total of 15 recent transferable credits to transfer from Douglas College to Vancouver Community College, if I want to take the Music Diploma there. Of the three college courses I did at Douglas last year, only Academic Writing transfers to VCC. But all three do count towards the Certificate in Communications at Douglas, and I only need 21 more credits to obtain that credential. So I'm planning to take the courses I need for the certificate and hopefully graduate from Douglas finally by the summer of 2025. At least this way I have more time to build my songwriting chops and music theory knowledge by the time I audition for the September 2025 intake at VCC.

I managed to keep up a minimalist piano practice while doing my office admin courses. I recently started four note chords - I'm working on major 7th, dominant 7th, and minor 7th chords on the piano. I'm working on building hand strength and flexibility to do the four note chords by doing them broken first, and once my hands stretch out, to try doing them solid. Although it might be easier to do them in inversions, because the 1st and the 7th are then next to each other.

I've started to learn how to play the riq. I bought one in 2012 but struggled to play the ka/tk on the jingle until last year. I buckled down last month and decided to aim to practice playing the riq for at least 100 days. So far I'm up to day 17. I've been practicing the maqsoum and malfuf rhythms, which I've been learning from Ken Shorley's videos on YouTube. Once I've gotten some chops down, I'd like to start studying the late Faisal Zeidan's videos from Datura Online, and then begin studying Karim Nagi's DVD, which I'd bought when I bought the riq in the first place.

A week ago I started Hot Pot Improvisation Team Sync classes with Jessica Roh. It was wonderful. She was very encouraging and said I did an amazing job of picking up the cues and the ground zeros for Hip Figure Eights (the corrected term for Taxeem), Floreo Poses, and Upper Undulations. 

Last year my vocal teacher Neeraja Aptikar had given me her blessing to teach singing. I had hesitated, but finally I decided to undergo teacher training with her when Jessica said she would be interested in trading dance classes in exchange for lessons in Indian singing. So far I've done two teacher training classes. I'd told Neeraja that I was interested in learning sound healing, because I thought it would be easier. Hah! Neeraja started by having me sing dhrupad with her in the first class. I'm proud of myself that after all these years I was able to follow along with her with ease. She suggested I listen to dhrupad performances by Uday Bhawalkar in Yaman and Bhairav on YouTube. In the second class she focused more on music theory and history, started with information about three ragas in thaat Bilawal, Durga, Bihag, and Alhaiya Bilawal, and suggested I listen to kheyals and bandishes in Alhaiya Bilawal. 

I recently started studying the Datura Style Focus program. I probably won't be able to take Initiation because it's either in March or September and I will be in college at that time for a few years. But I still want to learn Rachel Brice's material. I've finished most of Month One, except for “Shoulder Love”, and I've completed the first hour of the “Datura Style Fundamentals” video.

I finally got stabilization shoes from SportChek yesterday. A lovely salesclerk steered me away from the ASCIS shoes, which my physiotherapist had recommended, to the Saucony brand. He said that because my feet were very flat I need a lot of support, and I need wide shoes in a size 7.5 or 8. He's only completed high school but has run lots of marathons. I hope they pay him well, because he's so knowledgable and helpful.

This was a challenging workout, but soothing for my knees. It began with intention-setting - I sat in hero pose instead of half-lotus, which I find difficult due to my tight hips. It went into some vinyasa flow sequences incorporating plank, downward dog, and chatarunga dandasana. These were difficult for me but got slightly easier along the way. There were some crescent lunges, side bends on the floor, and supine hero pose, ending with corpse pose. I wasn't able to do dancer pose at all, which I used to be able to do in the past.

I wasn't able to work on "Kehna Hi Kya" on voice and keyboard as much as I would have liked to. I had a good class on Wednesday and three assignments - a peer speech evaluation, preparing for presenting next class's workshop, and creating a reading response video. The peer speech evaluation was relatively easy because my classmate had presented an excellent speech. Critiquing polished students is easier than critiquing struggling students. I needed to expand my workshop, which when I ran it through in front of my mother was only 8 minutes, to between 20 and 30 minutes. Luckily one of my classmates came to my rescue and advised me to include clips from relevant videos during the workshop. I had to write down the notes for the reading response video today to make sure it was between 1 to 2 minutes long. 

On Thursday I had a grant-writing meeting and a meeting with an accessibility specialist. She suggested I speak to my student success advisor about applying for student funding and encouraged me to undertake lifelong learning at college even if I didn't intend to obtain a credential. In the afternoon I went to the local mental health clinic to meet with my case worker and a new community living support worker from a different organization to set up independent living goals as part of my contract for obtaining a rent subsidy. We decided that she would be my accountability partner for me trying to get out of the house more often, getting a job, and creating a bunch of voice and keyboard covers for my YouTube channel.

On Saturday we went to New West Skytrain station to pick up my mother's medications. We went to River Market, where a crafts fair was taking place, which took me by surprise. Apparently it's happening every weekend or once every two weeks. I met an author of self-published books who sold their own jewellery along with their paperbacks. I saw a book continuing the story of Alice in Wonderland, so I asked them if they had started out with fan fiction. I learned that they used to write Gimli/Legolas stories based off of Lord of The Rings. I had a lava cake and a Mexican juice at a cafe in the food court, while Ma had a three layer cake. She bought a herbal tea, but burnt her throat trying to drink it. We had a pleasant walk down the river. She took a photo of the sun in the sky.

This week I did the first two days of the Datura Online program Intro to Fusion Belly Dance and the first two days of the conditioning program Fusion Fit 1. I was tired today after doing four loads of laundry with Ma, so I did Nikki Mae's knee/hip rehab video.

Today's workout session began with Colette Todorov's "Warm Up For The Lower Body". It consisted mainly of some gentle stretches, balance work, plies, and quad stretches. It was a good warm up for Ashley Lopez's "Built: Lower Body Strengthening" - Ashley's workout is supposed to be a warm up in itself, but it was strenuous, and it was nice to have some prep work because of my knee issues. "Built: Lower Body Strengthening" consisted of half sun salutations, lunges, balance work, warrior pose, chair pose squats, and downward dogs. At one point I used blocks as she suggested to modify the poses. During the knee to elbow section of the downward dogs I kept my opposing knee on the floor to support myself. The session ended with Ashley's "Cool Down For The Lower Body And Spine", which was a relaxing cool down from a rigorous workout. I find balance work challenging, but I like having it included in workouts in order to improve on it.

I've decided to pair Intro to Fusion Bellydance with Fusion Fit 1 over the next few weeks. I think I completed Fusion Fit 1 in 2020, but I wanted to do it again to build my strength before doing more advanced conditioning.

I've done this class several times, including the time I did it in the first week of Ashley Lopez's Integrated Dance 1 Prep program from Datura Online. I've gotten a handle on the exercises. It began with setting an intention - my word was "healing". The sun salutations weren't as difficult this time as they had been before. My knees felt good while doing the seated and standing lunges. What was difficult was tree pose - I was barely able to raise my foot to just below my knee, and I kept stumbling down. I was able to do the standing twists without straining my knees, although I wasn't able to do the full twists. The feet and wrist stretches and the cool down at the end felt good.

This week I've been working further on "Kehna Hi Kya", singing and playing the keyboard melody of the intro, chorus, and first verse. I'm hoping to learn the second verse and put it all together with the chords next week.

Last Wednesday I presented my first speech of my course in Public Speaking, about "Why You Should Study Fusion Bellydance." It went well, although my eyes were glued to my notes on my smartphone rather more than I would have liked. The next day I submitted my self-evaluation on time and did my readings. I had some extra readings to do apart from writing the notes for preparing the reading response video, because in a couple of weeks I have to present a workshop on body language in public speaking. I was very nervous about writing the outline, because I had never done something like this before, especially because I had to make room for audience participation. But I successfully wrote it down yesterday. I now feel that I can accomplish anything I can put my mind to.

I had my first western style voice lesson online in a long time. We worked on "the fry", a vocal exercise used to increase one's range. My teacher gave me some tips on auditioning for the Douglas music program in voice, suggesting that I work on singing intervals and hitting the notes precisely. 

I've been increasing the intensity of my conditioning exercises from Datura Online, all from Ashley Lopez, to improve my knee health. I worked with "Pilates Conditioning and Warm Up" on Tuesday, which consisted of the Pilates sideline hips series, which gave my glutes and hips a good workout. I followed it with "Slovenia Slam". On Wednesday I did "Powerhouse" followed by "Side to Side Undulation." The Thursday after my upper abs and neck were burning from the previous day's core exercises, so instead of doing "Kick Butt!" as planned I did "Upper Body Chair Exercises", which was a good workout on its own. On Friday I did do "Kick Butt." I took a rest day on Saturday and watched April Rose's performance of "Casino Badia" to maintain my streak on the Datura Online 365 Day Challenge. Today I did "Hip Love", which I was dreading because it had been intense when I had done it before. But it was actually quite chill. The hardest part was the diagonal leg raises in the middle of the workout. I've also found that wearing slippers and pants indoors to keep my feet and legs warms protects my knees.

I was feeling depressed because I only managed to practice music and movement on Monday this week. I practiced some keyboard, vocal exercises, and singing, worked on a single Bengali dance step, and did Bevin Victoria's Isometric Core Workout, followed by Rachel Brice's Monster A. My knee acted up and I had to focus on Sedona's Knee Joint Exercises and Ashley Lopez's Knee Stabilization - Mat Exercises the past four days. I went to Metrotown to buy clothes on Tuesday, had a good college class in Public Speaking on Wednesday, had a grant writing meeting and a webinar with a funding organization on Thursday, went to a cooking class on Friday, and bought groceries with Ma yesterday. I felt better today after submitting a reading response video and writing the outline for the first speech for my college course. Doing laundry and putting it away also helped. My knee is feeling good now. A couple of bellydancers in the Datura Online Facebook group suggested that I work on strengthening my glutes and hamstrings to heal my chronic knee issues, so I'm looking into doing knee-friendly lower body workouts.

My year got to a good start. I've been practicing keyboard regularly and working on exercises from http://musictheory.net. I did three of Rachel Brice's live classes from Datura Online - Monster A, Beginning/Intermediate Combos, and The Full Monster. Yesterday I did Heather Louise's live veil class from Datura Online and the first hour of a gentle advanced ballet barre class on Zoom taught by Linda Arkelian. I went to the first class of the semester of my college course Public Speaking and completed my assignments ahead of time. My hip and knee have been feeling a bit sore, but gentle conditioning and Voltarone have helped a lot with that. I have won a 12 month free subscription to Datura Online for completing the 365 day challenge, and so far I've watched DO videos for the past eight days of 2023.

I started studying Hindustani classical singing at the age of sixteen in 1997, which was already too old to make it professionally in that field back then. But my intentions were always to compose pop songs based in that tradition. I was a big fan of Kazi Nazrul Islam, the Rebel Poet of Bengal who composed several hundred songs in Bengali based on Hindustani light classical music. It's taken me a long time to master the foundations, but it was so worth it. Here are some of the benefits I've discovered through my journey of studying Hindustani classical music: